No Frills, No Crusts
by inthecompanyoflove
Summary: Will and Emma have a frank discussion about what happened with Shelby and April. How does this change their relationship?


Emma didn't think it would happen this way. So quiet and assuming, so casual. She expected flowers, another declaration of love, another in-the-moment kiss. Because for Will, they were always about the in-the-moment: he felt something for her and he acted on it. He wasn't used to the build up of feelings over time, slow coming and brief in existance; she remembered the days of waiting around the corner for him, bumping into him and relishing in the rush of contact. But he wasn't a man for small moments - he wanted the big things to change everything, but Emma knew, it was the little things that supported a relationship, the slipknot at the start of a scarf that held the knitting together.

But here they were. A cool April afternoon, sitting side by side on the bench outside of McKinley High. It was a little too chilly for Emma's liking so she wrapped her violet cardigan around herself tighter. Will tensed up, reaching for the buttons of his charcoal gray cardigan, but Emma offered him a small smile instead. That would make things too easy and she knew this was going to be hard; this needed to be a no-frills, frank discussion, and the warmth from a cardigan he looked positively adorable in was no help in that regard.

"Em.. I don't really know where to start." He wore a sheepish smile and his eyes searched her face.

"Wherever you feel comfortable, Will. I think the beginning is the standard choice." She smiled back, still, but inside, she felt cool. She'd spent the past few months detaching herself from Will the best she could - dating Carl, avoiding Will like the plague, and slowly putting everything that reminded him of her into her closet. It was hard, and it hurt, and she cried a whole lot, but she knew she had to do it. Otherwise, she'd never have peace.

"Last year, when you er...confronted me, about April and Shelby.." He started out slowly, his eyes on his lap. "I just want to clarify that. I don't know why I didn't say anything at the time, Em, I just... I couldn't. I was in shock. I never expected that from you and in that moment I just couldn't function and..." He trailed off. He could feel her big, brown eyes on him and knew what she was thinking _don't make this about me, Will _so he swallowed and continued. "April slept over, yeah, but nothing happened. I know there's no way to make you believe me on that, but I'm telling you the truth. The crush I had on in her high school has been long gone.. I think of her as a sister now... or maybe a crazy, alcoholic aunt."

She kept smiling, but inside, her organs hurt. Was he being honest? She thought so, but she couldn't tell. Besides, it wasn't April that had hurt her the most - she knew Will had feelings for her at some point and wasn't surprised that he acted on them given the opportunity. But did he? She kept her eyes on him, unblinking, until he faced her.

"I mean it, Em. I mean... You can even call her, if you want." His eyes were a tiny bit glazed, a little wet around the edges, and she felt her stomach flop. If he was lying, then he'd do better teaching Drama than Glee.

She nodded. "I believe you, Will. I'm not your mother... no need to check up on things." He laughed, a little, and stretched his arms over his head.

"Now, Shelby...We didn't sleep together, either, but we did..." He turned red and forced a smile. "Make-out, I guess." He laughed at the awkwardness - what were they? high schoolers? - and looked into her eyes. "But that was it, I promise. And it only happened once."

Emma nodded again. She released a small giggle, more out of nervousness than humor, and tried to keep herself together. Was he lying? She didn't think so, but she was terrified none the less. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, daydreaming about it between class periods and during the lunches she spent eating alone, at her desk. She dreamed about it after Carl dropped her off from their dinner dates and trips to the movies - she was happy, but she longed for the day that she was happy with _Will_.

"Okay." She broke eye contact and examined her own hands, small and thin, folded in her lap. She concentrated on breathing in and out through her nose, the way the soft stream of breath tickled her upper lip. Her skirt, off white, seemed bright white beside the dark wash of Will's jeans. So many mornings she'd gotten ready and dreamed up coordinating outfits for the two of them. She giggled at the novelty of her thoughts and the seriousness of their situation.

"Em? Laughing at my attempts to be a man?" He grinned sheepishly, but she could see the nervousness in his eyes. Yes, this meant something to him. She smiled.

"No, just at myself." She slowly moved her hand from her lap to the top of his leg, barely touching the worn fabric, and met his eyes. "Do you think you're ready, Will? There's never a reason to rush your feelings."

He nodded, moving his hand to hover above hers, but not touching her skin. "I know I am, Em, I know it." He looked like he was about to speak again, but she opened her mouth first.

"Are you lonely, Will?" She knew he was, and she knew she was, too, but that wasn't the reason she wanted to be with him. It was because she saw a future - a real, solid day-to-day future with loving him built into it - not a fantasy, not a dream sequence. She was afraid he was still in his dreams, not ready for what she was working towards.

"I am." He said softly, dropping his palm atop her hand. "But only because I want our reality to start now, Em. I know... I know what you're thinking. I wasn't really ready before. I was between so many worlds, I just, I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't know how to live so many lives at the same time... But now I'm ready for the one I know I want." He squeezed her hand, lightly, and she felt tingles shoot up her arm.

"What do you want, Will?" It was a struggle to keep her voice controlled. She felt the tingle in her tongue, her teeth, the caves of her cheeks. _Don't glorify, don't use pedastals, don't presume..._

"I want a happy, stable life with little adventures thrown in. I want to fall asleep next to the same person I love waking up with every morning. I want to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without crusts and drink chocolate soy milk for dinner. I want to take the same car to work and have someone sit in on Glee rehearsals with me." He stopped and squeezed her hand a little tighter, and she sucked in a deep breath. "I want you, Em, in a happy, healthy, long-term relationship where we can both grow and enjoy every day. No frills, no crusts, just substance. That's what I want."

She pressed her head into his shoulder. He was trembling.

"Will?"

His voice was barely above a whisper. "Yeah, Em?"

"I love you."


End file.
